After holding the challenging conversation with your kids about your divorce, over the next few weeks and months, you may notice behavioural issues. Divorce can come about as a huge shock to children of all ages, and it’s not uncommon for them to react in this way following this news. Today we’re going to share with you some of the common issues you may experience and how you can work to overcome these with your kids.
An Initial Reaction to Divorce Should be Expected
For many children, the news of their parents’ divorce is very unexpected. If this is the case, you’ll most likely find they are angry, devastated, or shocked. Your children likely don’t know how to deal with this situation or their emotions, and they may stop communicating with you and their siblings. If they need to cry, let them act in a way that expresses their feelings and work to reassure them about any concerns they may have. During this initial stage, make sure you are there to answer any questions or just give them the comfort they need. By showing that both of their parents are still there for them, you can stop to avoid these issues from getting worse as time goes on.
Keep An Eye Out for Behavioural Issues
In the weeks and months following a divorce, as a parent, keep an eye out for any signs of behavioural issues. Aggression and depression are two of the most common issues, and you may need to seek professional help if you find they are becoming too much of a problem. We recommend that you speak to your child’s teachers if you are noticing these issues so that they can look out for them when they aren’t with you. Although you may find it a challenge to speak to your co-parent, try to communicate about these issues to see if there are any patterns to them that you can work to avoid.
Address the Issues Straight Away
Many parents find that they feel incredibly guilty about the divorce and the impact it is having on their kids. Try to put your emotions aside and discuss your child’s behavior immediately. If your child is angry and acting in a violent manner, you need to stop this before it’s too late. When these issues go on for too long, it can have a huge impact on their growth and emotional wellbeing in the future.
Talk to Your Kids About Their Feelings
Talking about your feelings is something that can be learned, but it’s often overlooked by parents. We encourage you to keep talking to your kids about how they feel, which can help them to understand and deal with their emotions. If you notice their behavior is changing, bring this up with them, and ask if anything has happened to trigger this. For anyone who finds it too hard to talk to their kids during divorce, we encourage you to seek professional help to offer them the support that’s needed.
Behavioural issues with kids during divorce are very common, so if you are struggling with this, know you aren’t alone. By addressing the issue sooner rather than later, you can avoid exasperating the issue and offer them the support that’s needed during this challenging time.