After spending such a large portion of your life with someone, it’s often difficult to throw away your relationship following a divorce. There are many benefits of building a positive relationship with your ex after divorce, particularly if you have children together. While they no longer fill the role of spouse or partner, the relationship can take on another form, like co-parent and even friend. Today we’re going to share with you some of the best ways to maintain a good relationship with your ex during this challenging time in your life.
One of the biggest challenges when maintaining a good relationship post-divorce is setting boundaries. While you are struggling to get into a routine in your new single life, you need to ensure you encourage healthy boundaries with your ex. Communicate with them if they are stepping over the line, and decide which topics of conversation are off-limits for you currently. Dating, for example, whether you have started dating or your former partner has, might not be something the other person is ready to hear. It can also add tension to your relationship. Be mindful about any touchy subjects and ensure you steer away from anything that might negatively impact your chance of a positive future relationship.
Find Common Ground
If you spent multiple years of your life with your ex, you no doubt have a good amount in common. Especially if you have children together, you already have a huge common interest. This is a great place to start when building up your relationship once again, and you can use this to start conversations and build a strong relationship. Of course, you aren’t going to agree on everything, but focusing on creating a united front, especially when dealing with children, is particularly important during this time.
Avoid Returning to the Past
Once your divorce papers are signed, there’s no need for you and your ex to rehash the past over and over again. Even if you don’t feel you received full closure on a certain area of your past relationship, it’s sometimes easiest to leave the troubles of the past where they belong. The more you return to past arguments, the less likely you will be to cultivate a good relationship in the future. Try to move on with your relationship and start again as friends instead of working through the past troubles you faced in a romantic relationship. If need be, seek support elsewhere to get over the issues of the past.
Work on a Need-To-Know Basis
Your ex-partner doesn’t need to know everything about your new life, and you don’t need to know every detail of theirs. Figure out when to bring up important topics, such as introducing your child to your new partner. Maintain the boundaries that you set at the start of your new friendship while also being respectful of your partner’s feelings. If any aspect of your life will impact your child or ex-partner, the right thing to do is tell them the truth about what’s going on in your life. Honesty will play a huge part in your ability to be friends in the future, so always try to be truthful when your ex asks anything about your life.
There’s no denying that building a positive relationship following a divorce can be a challenge for many couples. However, by following these tips listed above, you can work to build a trusting relationship and still maintain contact following your separation.