Becoming a co-parent following divorce brings with it a whole host of challenges that you may not expect. The issues that come with parenting following a divorce can often feel impossible to handle, especially if you and your ex don’t see eye to eye on various topics. By following these top tips listed below, you can work to create an environment that is safe for your child, so they still feel loved and appreciated by both of their parents.
Don’t Talk Negatively About Your Ex-Partner
Regardless of what you think about your ex and how they are acting following the divorce, keep these feelings to yourself. Your child doesn’t need to be told anything about the struggles you are facing when it comes to your relationship. Even if you don’t appreciate the way your ex is acting, you should still want them to have a relationship with their son or daughter. Try to avoid them taking sides with either one of you and react in a neutral manner to any discussions about your ex-partner.
Open Communication
While you probably don’t want to spend much time or energy communicating with your ex, you’ll still need to keep communication open in order to co-parent. Keep calm whenever you are having to discuss the topic of your child, and don’t bring your feelings into the mix. If you find it too hard to talk on the phone or by text about your schedule, create a family calendar you can both access. From there, you can enter any dates that your ex needs to know about and work to create arrangements for who is looking after your child each week.
Allow Your Partner To Be Involved
Try to avoid making it difficult for your co-parent to be involved with your child. Even if you don’t agree with how they do things, it’s not your responsibility to tell someone else how to parent your child unless they are putting them in a dangerous situation. Try to adopt a flexible mindset and always put your children’s needs first.
Remain Positive Around your Ex
Even if you still want to scream and shout at your ex for your divorce, try to avoid bringing your emotions into any conversations. Keep positive at all times and treat your conversations as a simple transaction like you would have with any other adult in your life. Always be polite, and remember that their actions aren’t a reflection of you. They may also still be hurting from the divorce, so try to keep this in mind during any conversations you have.
Put Your Child’s Interests as The Top Priority
Your child’s health and wellbeing should always be the top priority for both you and your ex-partner. Don’t let them come in the middle of any of your problems and focus on what they need at the time. Make sure you create a schedule for your child that’s not disruptive to their schooling or seeing their friends and family and ensure they know they are still valued and loved. Remind your child that this situation isn’t anything to do with them, and be understanding of how upset they may be at times about the divorce.
Parenting following a divorce can be very lonely and challenging, so ensure you call on friends and family for help when needed. If you find you have major issues with co-parenting, consider reaching out for support from a counselor either together or alone to deal with your frustrations.
